Bringing toys into a relationship sounds like a bigger deal than it is. Nobody's saying your sex life is broken. It's more like cooking the same five meals on rotation. Nothing's wrong, you're just a little bored, and there's a whole cookbook you haven't opened yet.

So here it is: our list of the best sex toys for couples, from beginner-friendly first steps to the more adventurous stuff, ranked in the order I'd actually buy them. My partner and I didn't start with anything wild. We started with one small toy, a glass of wine, and a lot of laughing. 

1. Best First Toy for Couples: Wearable Couples' Vibrators

This is the toy I'd tell any couple to buy first. A wearable couples' vibrator sits in place during sex and vibrates against the clitoris while you're together, which solves the most common, awkward frustration in partnered sex. Small, quiet, zero learning curve. If everything else on this list feels like too much, I'd start here.

2. Best for Long-Distance Couples: App-Controlled Vibrators

When we were long distance, app-controlled vibrators made it feel a lot less long for us. One of you wears it, the other has the app. Watching your partner's reaction when you turn it on from another state never gets old. Even if you're in the same house, the anticipation of a quick surprise is almost exciting enough.

3. Best for Beginners Who Are Curious: Sensory Bondage Kits

Forget the intimidating leather-and-chains. A good beginner bondage kit is basically soft restraints, a blindfold, and a feather teaser. Just the blindfold alone changes everything, because when you can't see, every touch lands twice as hard. You don't have to be "into BDSM" for this to be fun. You just have to trust each other and be a little curious.

4. Best Toy That Works for Both Partners: Vibrating Cock Rings

Guys sometimes hesitate at this one, and then it becomes the toy they ask for. A vibrating cock ring helps him last longer and feel firmer, and the vibrating part is positioned for her. It's one of the few toys genuinely doing something for both of you at the same time. If it's your first one, I recommend you get an adjustable or stretchy one; sizing is the only thing people usually get wrong.

5. Most Underrated Upgrade: Heated Toys and Massagers

This sounds like a gimmick until you try it. Most toys feel cold at first contact, which is a mood-killer nobody talks about. Toys that warm to body temperature skip that uncomfortable moment entirely. It's a small detail that makes everything feel less like a device and more like a natural part of things.

6. Best for Handing Over Control: Remote-Controlled Butt Plugs

Okay, this is where the list gets more adventurous. I'll be honest, remote-controlled butt plugs aren't for everyone, and that's fine. But for couples who are curious, they're playful in a way nothing else is. Start at home, keep the remote in your partner's hand, and see how it feels to hand over control in a low-stakes way. Work up from there if you want to.

7. Best for Role Reversal and Same-Sex Couples: Dual-Ended Strap-Ons

For same-sex couples, or any couple curious about switching roles, a dual-ended strap-on means both partners get something out of it at once...which is the whole point. My one piece of advice: don't cheap out here. Fit and flexibility matter more with this toy than almost any other, and a bad one will put you off the idea before you've given it a real chance.

8. Best If Vibrators Feel Too Intense: Suction Toys

If you've seen suction toys everywhere lately, there's a reason. They mimic oral sex in a way that honestly surprised me the first time. It's a completely different sensation from vibration, and a lot of women who find vibrators too intense (or weirdly numbing) prefer it. During partnered play, they're small enough not to get in the way.

9. Best for Slowing Down Foreplay: Massage Wands

The most underrated item on this list. A good massage wand isn't just a vibrator. You can use it on shoulders, backs, and thighs during foreplay and it completely changes the pace of an evening. It turns the "let's rush to the main event" into an actual experience. Every couple I know who owns one uses it way more than they expected.

10. Best Novelty Splurge: VR Intimacy Sets

I'll be straight with you: this one is more novelty than necessity right now. Pairing a toy with immersive visuals is genuinely fun to try at least once, especially for long-distance couples. Worked your way through the list and still curious? Then go for it. Consider it the bonus level.

Where We'd Actually Start

If you're buying one thing: the wearable couples' vibrator (#1). Two things: add the bondage kit (#3), because variety beats intensity. And whatever you pick, talk about it first. Half the fun is scrolling through the options together and seeing what makes you both raise an eyebrow.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are couples' toys safe to use together?
Yes, as long as they're made from body-safe, non-porous materials like medical-grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel, and cleaned before and after every use. Avoid porous materials like jelly rubber, especially for anything shared.

How do we bring up using toys without it being awkward?
Browse together. Seriously, scrolling through options and reacting to them is a conversation in itself, and it keeps the tone playful instead of serious. Start with "which of these looks fun?" rather than "I think we need this."

What if we try a toy and don't like it?
Totally normal. It usually means that type of toy isn't for you, not that all toys aren't. Start with versatile, lower-cost picks, and know that everything at Erotii is covered by our 30-day satisfaction guarantee on unopened items, with discreet billing and shipping on every order. If you have any issues, feel free to reach out to our customer service team. We're happy to help!